How Do You Discipline Your Child – Spanking Vs. Beating - The Debate Continues
By Kenny M. Leichester
In Western civilization that the debate over whether kids can be meted corporal punishment has raged for over 30 years. Of late, the habit of spanking children has come under fire from renowned psychologists. While disciplining children is the duty of parents and teachers, how far an adult step can is the question. Spanking is an open handed smack of the child’s bottom as a direct result of poor behavior. Beating on the other hand is very heavy handed hitting that can lead to injuries. Sometimes people can beat someone using a rod or scale.
If an instrument is used to spank a child it could be referred to as paddling, caning, belting or whipping. In eastern cultures, the habit of physically disciplining children is accepted. Teachers or parents very often use a ruler or belt to spank children. Among poorer sections of society, beating is a common practice by abusive and drunk parents. Everyone accepts the fact that kids need to be disciplined so that they become responsible and law abiding citizens. So, when the debate rages on – ‘How to discipline a child: Spanking Vs. Beating’, let us see what people have to say.
Almost all psychologists and most parents accept the fact that beating is totally unacceptable, whatever the behavioral problems. Also spanking using instruments like belts, rods or rulers, should not be accepted. So, that is one question answered – No beating a child. So, what about spanking your child who throws a tantrum in the shop, runs out of the house and has everyone frantically searching for him or her or tries to run across a busy intersection without waiting for an adult?
Some psychologists are of the view that the human body is sacred and any kind of violation by an adult that causes pain is totally unacceptable. They say that since the child is totally dependent on the adult, spanking them as punishment will not really discipline them but push the anger way down into the psyche. This could resurface later in life as an abusive adult. Hence, one group of experts concludes that children must never be spanked however gently but only talked to and reasoned with.
Other experts and more than 50% of parents feel that for children to learn right and wrong behavior, spanking is at times necessary. They feel that not spanking a child at all can lead to them openly abusing parents. Disciplining is what is necessary to create well rounded adults and if a small spank can help with this, then that is the way to go. Just reasoning with a child may not achieve the same end. They will stop listening to you after a while knowing that that is all you will do. On the other hand, when they know a spank is what is waiting them as a last straw, some kids will obey.
So, here are some golden rules to discipline a child the right way with spanking:
• State the rules clearly
• Give a verbal warning
• Give time-out
• Spank the child if behavior persists
• Immediately indicate your love for them
First and foremost, make certain rules and tell your child to stick to them. The rules can be simple or more stringent depending on the age – it could be no candy before dinner, no acting up in the store, no fighting with their siblings etc. Once the rules are clearly stated, make sure the child understands them.
If the child violates the rules, give a couple of verbal warnings. If the behavior persists, take away some privileges – e.g. No watching their favorite show. Only if all else fails, resort to spanking. Even then, take them on your lap, face down and give a couple of good swats on their bottom. This will definitely make an impact and most probably the child will not resort to such behavior again. Finally, after spanking your child, make them understand that it is their behavior that you are angry with and show them that you love them.
A father once said that he had to spank his child because she ran way from home and it took them four hours to find her. He said, he did not know if it was right or wrong to spank her but that the behavior was never repeated. Always resort to gentle spanking as a last resort to make your child listen and obey rules. However, please do not beat them, for it is not only wrong but against the law.
About the Author: Article by Kenny Leichester of http://www.patioshoppers.com, a website with the best patio furniture information on the web.
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