Real Dad Advice

Bullying a More Direct Approach




I cannot believe how easily accessible information is about bullying. I know as a parent, if you find that your child's being bullied, the first thing you want to do is go to the school and confront the bully.

I can give you all the facts about bullying that you can read. I'm not going to waste your time with all those numbers. Bullying has begun to attract national attention as evidenced by the recent school shootings and well publicized suicidal incidents believed to be caused by cyber bulling.

Parents it's very important that you talk to children about the type of communication they have on their cell phone, i.e. texting and over the internet (facebook, myspace or email). Your child could text something to another student like ("U R Ugly and when i c u i just want 2 hit your head") this could fall under criminal harassment or stalking laws. Some states like New Hampshire have even passed laws that even if the action occurs off of school property or outside of school sponsored events your child could be charged or suspended or expelled from school. There have also been cases where teens sent nude photos to a friend and that friend sent the picture to someone else and was charged with child pornography.

Inform your child that anything they text or email may be used against them later. In the state of Virginia there have already been several cases of Threat by Electronic Message. Anything from a boyfriend and girlfriend having arguments, could possibly be taken out of context. Most experts suggest that you tell your child to be confident, hold their head high and stand straight while walking the hallways in school.

The logic behind this is sound. A bully will less likely single you out if you project self confidence. However as a parent, you know your child , and if your child hasn't shown this confidence in the past, for them to all of a sudden become Will Smith or Robert Dinero and walk down a hallway will not happen.

As stated before, its important that you have an understanding of your child's personality.

It is a strong possibility that there may be more than one bully and that they are twice the size of your child.

Real Dad would suggest a more direct approach. As soon as you discover that your child is being bullied, speak with the principal and request a meeting with the parents of the child that's bullying your child. Allow the school to execute their policy regarding this matter. Most schools indeed have a no tolerance policy for bullying.

You should be prepared that upon meeting with the bully's parents, the meeting may not go well due to the parents disbelief. Most parents feel that their children are "perfect angels." Even if the meeting goes well with the principal and parents it is important to not interfere with the execution of school consequences for bullying that is outlined in the school policy.

Everyday for the last three years, I have listened to my coworker constantly complain about his child support payments. He goes on and on complaining all day about how it's not fair that he has to pay so much. In the three years that I've known Daniels, he talks more about the money he pays, rather than his son. I have four kids and as a father, I cook, clean, go to little league games, stay up late when my children get sick, help with homework, and listen to their stories ( Oh yeah, and I've watched The Cars movie about 24 times in two months). I don't think Daniels realizes that stroking a check is an easy way out, and paying child support is just a small part of what a real father should be doing for his children.